Drag Me To Hell

O.K., so my contest from last week as to which movie I should watch, ended with an enormous amount of votes! I have to tell you, I was thrilled and very touched that so many of you sent in your votes! I’m actually going to do something very few people do in the internet age, and that is actually thank every single one of you personally for sending in your votes! So, here it goes:

Alan Simpson, thank you for your winning vote of Drag Me To Hell!!!

PHEW!!! That was exhausting!

Now that all of that is out of the way, let’s discuss the movie!

As many of you might have picked up on by now, the review this week is for the Sam Raimi return to horror, Drag Me To Hell. I had been interested in this one ever since the talk of it going into production hit the horror circuit. Like any other horror fan, a return to horror by Raimi was like music to my ears. After making the classic Evil Dead films, and the insanely disturbing Simple Plan, Mr. Raimi got all wrapped up in his Spider-Man films. Now, my being a freaky Marvel zombie made this just dandy. I was more than happy to be getting great Marvel films, no matter what might have happened with part three, I still enjoyed the dang thing. But still, a return to horror for Raimi was a lovely idea!!!

So what kind of film did the horror fans get with the triumphant return of Raimi? Was it a full blown horror extravaganza on par with the intensity of the first Evil Dead film, or more of the action flick that was Army Of Darkness? Or was it the middle ground and experimental overload that was Evil Dead 2?

In a nutshell, Drag Me To Hell is more of a conventional horror film than anything else that Raimi had done prior. Granted, it doesn’t pack the all out punch that the first two Evil Dead films had, but then since Raimi was a trailblazer back then, chances of this being that were pretty slim. So instead Raimi decided to use his trademark styles, and incorporate them into a more straight-forward possession style flick.

Drag Me To Hell is the story of basically making poor choices with the wrong people. The story centers on Christine Brown (Alison Lohman), a decent person who is losing on the corporate banking ladder due to not being a rotten snake, as her competition Stu (Reggie Lee) is. She decides to go ahead and take advantage of an elderly lady who she could have helped on her mortgage.  Christine’s big mistake is that the elderly lady turns out to be a gypsy who is in cahoots with some nasty ol’ spirits and decides to curse poor Christine.

A person’s enjoyment of Drag Me To Hell might depend on their familiarity of the brilliant 1957 Jacques Tourneur film Curse/Night of the Demon, which was based on the MR James tale Casting The Runes. Certain plot points are shared by all three, and the two films are very similar in many aspects, right down to the ending taking place at the train station. This does not detract too much from the enjoyment of Drag, as Raimi was wise enough to alter key aspects that enable the film to carry its own persona. Although I do think that some of my enjoyment was sapped by the fact that I was quite often trying to guess what was going to happen due to my knowledge of Curse, and when it is mentioned to meet at the train station I smirked and got ready for an ending I knew was coming. So it should be stressed that this is more of my own problem, not the films.

I recommend Drag Me To Hell to anybody looking for a good little horror flick that surprisingly is rather tame in the gore and over-all violence. There is no doubt that this is a Raimi film, and yet he has learned his own style well enough to know that what made something a “Raimi film” was not the overabundance of the gore, but rather that unique camera style. The film has that style in spades, some nice scares and tense moments, and is a pretty fun time. It will make some wonderful Halloween viewing for those who have not seen it yet, and a nice annual film for all else.  

CREATURE - Beastie on the loose!

Did anybody know this movie was coming out? I swear, this thing came from out of nowhere. It was the surprise factor, in fact, that lead to this film being the center of a date night for my wife and me. Oh, it wasn’t intended to be such. In fact, when I heard about this movie and realized it would be in theaters for a second, it became a movie that I was just going to run out and see all by my lonesome. I know my wife is not a Horror fan, so I didn’t expect her to go. I, on the otherhand, have been missing good old fashioned monster romps in the theater, so I knew I was going to go. Imagine my surprise when my wife said “looks like fun, let’s make a date of it!”

Now, if I can be honest here, I am going to blame her going with me for being the reason why the movie was so far below being actually good. Not that she is a curse, far from it. The thing is, it seems that every single time there is a movie I am looking forward to, and she sees it with me, it sucks. This usually leads to the often said comments such as “next time I pick the movie” or “that’s it, you don’t get to pick anymore.” Usually I can’t argue with her, as she is usually right that the movies suck. This usually causes the odd situation of the movies that I see on my own being great, because she is done with my picks for a bit, and then when she decides to see one of my movies again, it sucks, setting the whole vicious circle back in action.

This brings us back to Creature, a film that came from out of nowhere and just does not feel right to be watching in a theater. We have become so accustomed to bigger budget films in theaters, that when one of such a small budget and one with so little advertising campaign does show up, it just feels weird seeing it in such a setting. I had a similar feeling while watching the abysmal Priest.

The film is fairly cookie-cutter in the execution, six friends are out on a trip and decide to go exploring. One of the friends, the one who seems to be the ringleader, is a fan of strange and crazy backwood tales of the bigfoot variety. It is his interest in a local legend that the group stumbles onto while grabbing groceries in a creepy little convenient store run by genre vet Sid Haig, that leads them off on their trek.

Intrigue and espionage lead us into a whirlwind of plotholes and “what the . . .” moments shrouded in plenty of naked people and surprisingly low amounts of gore and actual suspense. This is not to say I didn’t enjoy myself to some degree, because I did. I have been dying to see an actual beastie on the rampage movie for some time that I was willing to forgive all the many missteps that this film makes. The film was full of poor monster design, no real monster attacks, no gore, very little suspense, one too many endings, etc.

The film is easily worth a $2 second run theater if you have one by you. Or, if you need to wait it will make an enjoyable stream from your online provider or rental. As a full price first run showing, you might want to pass. As the theater was just my wife and me, I am thinking everybody else chose to wait for the stream. Like I said, though, I did enjoy myself. I’m pretty easy to please with these types of films, though. I will say that I will probably never own the movie, and will more than likely never rent it now that I have seen it. I might stream it for background noise in the future, but I will not make it an addition to my collection. Damn shame, really. This thing could have been what I, and I think a lot of horror fans have been itching for, an honest to God monster on the loose, a monster that a slew of garage kit builders are dying for. Instead, we got a bland looking beastie and an even blander movie with no real thrills. Shame.

What Should I Watch? You help me decide!!!

O.K., here is a thrilling game for the whole family to play! I have a stack of movie here to watch, and I just hate sitting here staring at them trying to decide which one to watch. So how about if we all vote, and whichever one gets the most views, I watch. Does this sound like fun!?! It sure sounds like a brilliantly fun idea, and not some pathetic way of me trying to get people to leave comments and/or start reading my sad little blog, to me!

So, without further ado, here are the movies for all of you to choose from, with a little blurb of what I know about each one to follow.

The Ruins – Based on the nest selling novel of the same name. A group of people go out traveling, find some ruins and the plants all come to life.

Splice – From what I know this is similar to Species. It seems to have a love it/hate it type of reaction to it. Supposedly there is some pretty disturbing imagery.

Dark Night Of The Scarecrow – An old 70s TV movie that is supposed to be creepy beyond belief. Sounds cool, aside from the whole “TV movie from the 70s” thing. Most of those were made of 100% cheese.

Machete – This is a tribute/satire/spoof of the old 70s/80s grindhouse action exploitation flicks. The original mock trailer was shown at the beginning of the Quentin Tarantino/Robert Rodriquez flick Grindhouse. It stars the wonderful Danny Trejo, which is reason alone to watch it.

Let Me In – US remake of the now classic Swedish film titled Let The Right One In. In all honesty I have yet to see the original. I have it here, but have heard that the subtitles on the DVD are crap and not the ones from the theatrical release, which means I had no interest in seeing it.

Drag Me To Hell – Sam Raimi’s return to horror.

I Sell The Dead – A black comedy inspired by those two lovable scamps Burke and Hare.

The Roost – I think it has something to do with killer birds. I think. Cool cover for the DVD.

Legion – Angels and demon type of things, I think. It looks cool, but I could see it actually sucking pretty bad.

The House Of The Devil – Tribute to 70s Satan flicks!!!

So let’s end it there for now.

BLACK WATER

If you are wondering what this film is like, well, look back to my review of The Reef and replace the shark with crocodiles. No, they are not exact, but if you like movies of that type (people fleeing from some big ol’ nasty beastie), then this should work for you. There are some major differences with this one, however, such as the trek starting with only four people instead of five.

Basic premise: friends vacationing in Australia decide to take in the locale offerings, so they decide to go off and check out a croc tour. One nasty ol’ croc later, and our heroes are stuck in a tree trying to figure out how to get away from the nasty beast floating below.

Possibly little surprise comes from the fact that Black Water is directed by one of the directors of The Reef, Andrew Traucki. Black Water came first, however, and in some ways it shows. The Reef has a slicker feel to it, but Black Water has a little more of a heart to it. We get to know the characters a little bit more, and we grow to care for them a little bit more. Both films make for a fun evening of nasty beast viewing and should be viewed together.

Stay tuned for a review of my favorite of these people trapped by giant beast films: Rogue. Tell me you aren’t on the edge of your seat now!!!

THE REEF

O.K., let’s cut to the chase, The Reef is a movie about people trying to survive floating in the ocean while being chased by a shark. There isn’t much more to the plot than that. The main point of the beginning of the movie is simply a case of “how do we get the people into the water,” and to be sure, the way that is accomplished is never made clear. All we ever know is that at one point all is fine, and then all of a sudden the boat is upside down in the water. Mission accomplished, it’s feeding frenzy time!

If you fine folk reading are interested, however, it is like this: five people head out on a boat. One of whom is the professional sailor, Luke, who delivers boats for a living, his sister, her boyfriend, and our pro-sailors ex-girlfriend. Along on the ride is another expert sailor. There we have our cast, now to dump them into the water.

Once our boat is upside down our crew needs to make a decision, do they wait for rescue, or do they swim for an island that is believed to be ten miles away. Our 5^th wheel boating expert chooses to stay behind, while the rest (brother/ex-boyfriend, sister, boyfriend, ex-girlfriend) decide to be the ones to make a swim for it. Once we are all in the water, the fun and gut-wrenching tension begins.

The Reef is a ridiculously tense film once we hit the water. Part of this tension is derived from the amount of time Luke spends looking under the water trying to find the shark. We know the dang thing is out there, after all the DVD case shows us the fin, so we sit there squinting at the TV screen trying to make out the image of the shark every time he looks underwater. When it finally does show, our reaction is similar to the folk floating in the water. But when that dang thing finally lets its presence be known, and we finally come to terms with the fact that this thing is NOT going to leave them alone, let me tell you, nothing will prepare you for that scene. I don’t think I have ever seen a scene in a movie that has ever blown my mind like that scene. I have gone back to watch it time and time again, and every time it gets a jaw on the floor. I’m watching Jaws as I type this, and the scene where the shark shows up while Brody is throwing chum into the ocean is pretty much the same reaction. The makers of The Reef created a perfect “HOLY SHIT” moment for their movie, and it comes at the perfect time.

There is a definite sense of hopelessness in The Reef, and in a way it hurt the film a little bit for me. I so wanted a happier ending than we got, but knowing the people were in the ocean, I also had a feeling it would go the path it did go. I will say that what happens to who was a surprise. I did not expect it to go the way it did, but the end result (number wise) is what I expected. This, however, should not stop a person from seeing this film.

The Reef is an edge of your seat thriller that pulls no punches. It lacks the character build that some films might have (Jaws if I want to be unfair), but the tension is unreal. This is one of those movie that will put an ulcer in your gut in its runtime.

MURDER PARTY

There might be slight spoilers here, so be warned. I will avoid giving anything too important away, but if you want to go in completely blind, just skip to the final bit of the review.

Martyrs was a grueling, powerful, uncomfortable watch, one that pushes the viewer to their breaking point and dares them to hang on until the message and meaning can be delivered. Murder Party, on the other hand, is a ridiculously silly movie that plays its absurdities in a serious, fairly low-key manner. Make no mistake about it, there does appear to be a message here, and it is delivered squarely at a single group of people: the art community.

Quickly put, the film is about a hapless parking cop who finds an invitation to a murder party one Halloween night. What is a “murder party”? Well, just what it sounds like, a party where the knowing guest is set-up to be murdered. This would be our man, Chris (Chris Sharp), who follows the Map Quest directions to a warehouse in the middle of a desolate section of the city. Once there he finds a group of people, all dressed in costume, and all set to take him captive, which they do with little trouble.

The story unfolds with some tongue in cheek humor, some almost slap-stick violence, and some very dry lines delivered in a wonderful macabre way. The film plays out in a quick and enjoyable way, to be sure the movie is only about 75 minutes long. It gives the viewer just enough humor to keep us going along up until the ultra-violent ending that unfolds. The cast is solid, and this does include Chris’s cat, Sir Lancelot, who when first seen is one of the best sight gags in the whole movie. Lexi’s costume is great, by the way, especially with the way she keeps fighting. It’s an “in joke” to some people that just hits you square in face.

If you want a film that has a great sense of humor, but isn’t too ridiculous, and runs down the path of the ultra-violent for about 10 minutes straight, you might want to check our Murder Party. I do find it funny that my complaint in the last reviews was knowing that everybody dies, and yet this movies tagline is “Everybody dies.” All I can say is to not believe everything you read.

MARTYRS - whoa.

Ah crap, is this a sure fire sign of my age? Once upon a time I am thinking I would have been all over this film, proclaiming it a gift from the Gods! It would have shot to my “number one with a bullet” top spot. It would have been something I would have named my kids after. It would have been something I watched every single night before bed.

Now, it is far from all of that.

Martyrs is the tale of Lucie, a girl who escapes from a warehouse of torture. As she ages she becomes close with Anna and is tortured by some strange naked ugly creature (female we eventually find out). The middle part of the film is full-on revenge film. I mean, full on, no holds barred, vicious. It happens like a storm and is over before you know it. Yet, this is not where the film ends. It takes a turn that is somewhat of a surprise, unless you think about it a bit. But from that point it turns into the Torture Porn subgenre, but it does try to impose a message of sorts, or try and give an original story.

The thing is, however, that the whole films ground on my nerves, when we finally get to the last half hour, I had finally had it with the whole thing. The film hits you so hard, that by the time we get to the vicious torture aspect of the ending, we are completely worn out. For me, I was just beyond wanting to see any more of the film.

The big problem for me, with films such as this, is that we know the outcome before it happens. A bigger problem for me with Martyrs is that the film plays with reality so much, and requires NO suspension of disbelief, that when we get to the final act, we know the outcome.

SPOILER!!!

There is no saving grace in this film, there is no beaten woman coming back to fight for her life and take down the big nasty evil guy, or underground society. Once Anna is in her dire situation, and we see how futile it all is, we know exactly what is going to happen. In all honesty, however, if you know this genre at all, you know the outcome before the movie really gets going. You can just feel it from the beginning.

There was just so much about the movie I disliked. By the time it ended, I sat there wondering why the heck I spent my evening this way. The film really irked me. I mean, really irked me.

In the films defense, it seems I am one of the few who dislikes it. Heck, I’m possibly the only one who thinks it complete trash. I think I have hit a point where I have no interest in seeing people do this type of thing to other people. I don’t know, though, maybe if it didn’t get as overly vicious as it does get I might have been a little bit better with it all. Heck, the remake of Friday The 13^th was on last night, and I was reminded that I kind of got a kick out of that one.

Eh, I guess I am just getting old. Either that or the world is becoming that much more jaded.

Return of the blogging!

So yeah, this is my second attempt at a blog. The last one died when I forgot the password and could NOT for the life of me figure out what it was, nor find a way of retrieving the old one. So, I will possibly bring over a few of the things from that blog to this one.

The topic of this joint is going to be the same as the last one, for the most part, which will be movie reviews, and reviews mainly of Horror, Science Fiction, Action, or whatever I decide to write about. Mostly it will all be movies, with the occasional comic talk. O.K., possibly more than "occasional," but it will not be the main focus. The name of this one is the name I had thought about using when I was going to start up an actual print 'zine. The print 'zine was to be a companion piece for my actual 'zine of the time, Sonic Ruin.

So, enough on that stuff . . . time to maybe talk about some films in just a few.